October 2003
ANCIENT TRADITION REVIVED
Shawls wrap
grief in prayer
By CAROL BARNWELL, Episcopal News Service
A year and a half ago, an article in the religion section of the Houston Chronicle inspired new ministries at two churches in the Diocese of Texas.
A translation of an age-old Jewish tradition, the article said, prayer shawls are bringing comfort to people facing a particularly difficult time in their lives or grieving the loss of a loved one.
Leigh Bonner, a member of St. John the Divine in Houston, and Linda Koonce, a member of St. Stephen’s in Beaumont, simultaneously established the ministry of creating prayer shawls at each church to wrap the receiver in prayer—literally.
“I saw the article and thought, ‘That’s something I can do,’” Bonner says. Knitting “challenged” her at first, as she began knitting in a Stephen Ministry meeting. A friend asked what she was doing, then asked if Bonner could make shawls for each person in her grief support group. At first Bonner didn’t think it was possible, but says others soon joined the ministry to help provide the shawls.
“The day I hear three people need prayer shawls, three come in finished,” she beams, adding, “It’s God’s economy.”
Metaphor for life
The ministry took off in the same way at St. Stephen’s. Koonce told everyone about the idea and each person in the church’s guild that helps with wakes and funerals committed to provide one shawl, either by creating it or providing funds for materials. Members of the Episcopal Church Women’s group and others joined the effort, and by February 2003, it took three people to carry baskets filled with shawls to the altar to be blessed.
Aida Alard, wife of the retired bishop suffragan of Texas, Leo Alard, began knitting prayer shawls after receiving one from St. John the Divine during Alard’s open heart surgery. Alard now blesses the shawls for the St. John’s group.
Bonner says she discovered a metaphor for life in her knitting. “You’re going along and think everything is fine, but when you hold up your knitting, you discover you’ve dropped a stitch and there’s a hole. You have to go back and mend it or rip it out and do it over, sometimes more than once,” she says. The important thing is that you pray “all the while.”
The Rev. Paul Wehner, locum tenens at St. Stephen’s, says, “As ministers of the church, our laity are actively involved in pastoral care. These prayer shawls are wonderful additions to that ministry, and provide another way that the caring arms of our congregation and of God can be extended to those we love.”
Bonner agrees. “The most stunning thing is to give someone in distress something that is totally unexpected. Something they can’t purchase, meant to remind them how close they are to God. They can [literally] lay that comfort over their shoulders and be reminded of God’s grace and love and know that people are praying for them. It doesn’t take the pain away but it helps to bear it.” Bonner says she keeps a list of recipients and prays for each one daily.
Requests from all over
At St. Stephen’s, one parishioner who was receiving hospice care wore her prayer shawl to Ash Wednesday services, her last visit to St. Stephen’s before her death. Another shawl comforts a young mother who lost her first child during the middle stages of pregnancy. Still another was sent to Tennessee for the daughter of parish members who is fighting a battle with cancer. Clergy from other dioceses have contacted Bonner to ask that a prayer shawl be given to parishioners undergoing treatment. Nurses have even requested them for other patients.
Both groups include a note with the shawl that explains the ministry and the commitment of people to uphold each person in prayer during their time of need.
“I’ve never witnessed this kind of thing before,” Bonner says. “The ministry has just grown. People appear and say they want to knit. This is totally directed by the Holy Spirit.” You can contact Bonner at 713.528.5100 or Koonce at mrskoonce@hotmail.com for more information.
Carol Barnwell is director of communication for the Diocese of Texas.
